oh what a night…..
3:45am got here way too quickly this morning ;( I spent the better part of the evening trying to fall asleep, getting woken up, trying to fall asleep, getting woken up, falling asleep, and then waking up!!! As couples do, Kwang and I were arguing last night ;( Everything seems to be fine now but I got no sleep last night thanks to my man! He called me after 10pm when I had been asleep for about two hours. He insisted on arguing with me then and there – and so it was…We were bickering for about an hour when I finally hung up on him and turned my phone off b/c I needed to get some decent sleep and it was obvious we were not going to find any sort of compromise at that moment. However, since my phone is also my alarm clock – I had to turn the damn thing back on about twenty minutes later before I fell back asleep. And then he called again – if you know Kwang than you know he is a very very persistent person who stops at nothing to get what he wants when he wants it. So the arguing resumed….Until again I let him know it was pointless to speak anymore tonight and I needed to get some sleep (which he wasn’t concerned about in the slightest)…So again I had to hang up on the poor guy in order not to make the fighting worse…He doesn’t realize that there are a lot of other people in Tina’s house, all of whom have to get up early for practice…I simply can’t be on the phone arguing with my boyfriend at 11pm at night – not at Tina’s with other people to consider. So you see this went on for a bit – until finally he quit calling and I was able to unwind a bit and finally fall asleep a little after mid-night. Well, as Kwang does, he called back around 1:30am!! This time it was to apologize for being an asshole…It was sweet of him to do so but I was exhausted and hadn’t gotten any sleep…It was a quick conversation, to the point, but geeze……Kwang and I are fine but its really hard to be so far away – especially after the four months of traveling that we did together – being together that much everyday for four straight months and then being so far away for another three – it makes things hard sometimes…And since we both have very, very strong, fiery personalities – since we both say what’s on our mind first and think about what we’ve said second – since we both like to have the last word – well its breeding ground for good ole bash sessions every now and then…
So, I believe I was able to sleep a bit more till my alarm went off at 3:45am – and I most definitely wore out the snooze option this morning…I finally dragged myself from the bed and got ready for practice… “This is gonna be a challenge today!” My body was tired, my brain was tired, and I was not in the best of moods…I slowly, slowly made my way from Tina’s house to the shala and waited with the rest of the yogis for a couple minutes till the shala doors opened. Then I drug myself to my usual spot and plopped my mat on the ground. By the time I put my things away and got to the top of my mat – I felt a bit more awake…That said I focused as much as possible and took a moment to dedicate my practice to all the people that hold a special place in my heart (Kwang included – although I did consider leaving him outta my dedication this morning 
Surprisingly, I had a pretty good practice. I was most definitely exhausted from the lack of sleep but I seemed to somehow muster enough energy to carry myself through my second series practice. When Sharath came to assist me in Supta Vajrasana, I felt a little sad as someone said today was his last day at the shala b/c he leaves tomorrow (someone else has said tomorrow’s his last day – who knows)…But I really tried to appreciate the moment as it was realizing this may be my last practice with Sharath for a good long while ;( He came back to help me with Dwi Pada a few moments later and I so desperately wanted to explain to him that I was never gonna look like him in this pose b/c “I am balancing on the tip of my deformed tail bone with both legs behind my head and my hands in front of me in prayer position” – but it was really pointless at this point to interrupt him while adjusting me to tell him that – b/c most likely he wouldn’t really understand – and even if he did he’d tell me I could do it – and I believe I can and will ONE DAY….But this is something that’s gonna take a long time for me to find a proper balance on my very crooked tailbone – while keeping my back perfectly straight with legs behind head with hands in front in prayer with head up and eyes to the sky with bandhas and breath spot on – etc……Oh well, guess I’ll be stopping here for a good LONG while…After Dwi Pada I started on my backbends and Sharath stayed there the whole time waiting to assist with drop backs…Oh the pressure…So I made my backbends short and sweet and then had Sharath help me grab my ankles in backbend…Boy was I happy when that was over and I was able to drag my butt into the locker room for finishing sequence. What a day already! I do hope that Sharath will be in the shala tomorrow morning! I’m supposed to pay dues tomorrow so if he’s here I’ll get to pay him the fees and say a proper goodbye…Just didn’t feel like it was the right time to do so during backbends