“Alien vs. Mula Bandha”
Upon entering Ken’s ‘office’ for my fifth Rolfing session, he asked me, “how ya feeling?” I proceeded to explain to him that the vomiting and body aches lasted the duration of Monday and Tuesday, and I woke up Wednesday morning with a whole new ‘issue.’ “Ah,” he said, “Alien vs. Mula Bandha!” I almost burst out laughing at the seriousness in which he uttered those words, and responded by saying, “Yeah, in the worst kinda way possible! It was nonstop from early Wednesday morning till yesterday (Thursday) late afternoon around 5pm – and only after having taken some medicine from the pharmacy!!!” He explained that he had a run-in with those same aliens a few trips back and he was out of commission for a good week. Told me to be sure to keep drinking lots of fluids and rest up as much as possible. “Looking on the bright side,” he said, “it’s a great natural cleanse!” I guess so!!
The session went well, as far as Rolfing goes, but today was quite painful for me. We worked a great deal on the psoas, and a little on the hip flexors today. In the midst of my discomfort, however, I did learn a good deal more about the role the psoas plays in the whole scheme of things…Quite useful information, I must say.
As I was walking home from Ken’s I happened to run into Cara, my friend from Chicago. She asked how I was doing and I explained my situation…She got quite ill here her last trip to Mysore and she urged me to go to the hospital, as it sounded like I have a ‘bug’! She asked me a couple more questions and reiterated her belief that I should go to the hospital!!! So, a bit freaked out, I opted to make a trip to the hospital today!
I must say it was a 4 ½ hour venture…I made the decision to go to Vikram hospital today, instead of Apollo (as I wanted to see which one was better, and I didn’t fancy the doctor I met on my trip to Apollo a few weeks ago). So, I can now explain the differences I observed in the two…First off, Apollo is a nicer looking hospital, but it is also quite a bit newer. Both hospitals were ‘modern’ although not quite up to ‘American’ standards. At Apollo you have to pay a 30 rupee registration fee, vs. Vikram where registration is free. Both places charge a 100 rupee consultation fee…The nurses at both hospitals are less than friendly, and the wait at both hospitals was about the same. Yet, I must say that I found the doctors I encountered at Vikram to be much more welcoming, kind, and informative. All in all I preferred Vikram over Apollo, but that is a personal opinion.
At first I sort of questioned my decision to go to Vikram – b/c I felt a little annoyed during the registration process: The registration form asks your religion, but clearly states that it is optional to answer that question. So I opted not to provide my religion, even though the guy at registration asked me to fill it in. Upon looking over my form, he again asked me my religion…Disgruntled, I said, “I don’t wish to tell you – it states on the form that it is optional to answer that question!” I wasn’t trying to be difficult, but given our language barrier I new it would be difficult to explain to the man that I was born Christian but really didn’t consider myself a part of any religion – I think of myself as a spiritual person who refuses to restrict myself to religious barriers. He then asked where I was staying in India: “I don’t want to know where you reside in the US.” I gave my permanent address b/c it stated on the form (Permanent Address)…No bother, I gave him my address here, which would be of use for another two weeks! Having dealt with that ordeal I was told to go upstairs and wait for Dr. Rajkumar Wadhwa, head of Gastrology… “Hum, would he be as enjoyable a fellow as the previous Gastrologist I met a few weeks prior???” So, I waited, and waited and waited, and finally they called my name! A not-so-friendly nurse checked my weight and pulse, and then told me to sit and wait for the doctor. He soon came in and asked me what was wrong. I explained all that I had experienced in the last five days…He asked me a few additional questions. He then proceeded to examine my poor belly. After having finished that lovely experience he sat down and told me it seemed as though I have an infection in the tummy and told me he needed me to give a stool sample and wanted me to get an ultrasound of the abdomen. To the first response I felt at a loss for words, given that the medicine I got from the pharmacy yesterday had not only stopped the diarrhea but also bunged me up! He told me not to worry I could bring the stool back tomorrow, but it was necessary I did so…But for now he wanted me to go downstairs and get the ultra sound, and then return so he could see the results. To that I said, “OK”…
All this while Kwang sat patiently in the waiting room reading his book! He went downstairs with me and continued to wait…
I went to radiology and showed them my RX…350 rupees later they told me to consume four glasses of water and wait to be called. I asked if I should first empty my bladder, and the receptionist looked at me as if I was stupid and said, “bladder must be full!!” Well, my bladder was already about to explode, so that wasn’t a problem, but I didn’t think I would be able to explain this to her as her English wasn’t so good, and my Kannada is non-existent – so I just said “OK” I sat down and drank my four glasses of water and waited!! Kwang and I sat and shot to poo for what seemed an eternity. It was good though b/c we had a rather interesting discussion about world religions…Just as I was about to wet my pants a nurse came up to me and sort of called my name – it sounded kinda like Krishna, but could have been Krista…She looked at me funny as I said “Krista??” She pulled out her form and showed it to me – “Yes,” I said! Then she told me to wait and walked off. Did I scare her? I didn’t know what to make of the situation but I wanted to be sure she said Krista and not Krishna…Only here in India would this have been an issue!! At any rate she did come back a moment later and led me into the room for my ultra sound. I got onto the table and the female doctor put the gel stuff on my tummy and then proceeded to talk to some nurse for a good five minutes about her upcoming trip to northern India…This was only interrupted by another nurse entering the room needing the help of the first nurse – “thank goodness!” Having no one to talk to the doctor proceeded to attend to the patient on her table with gooey gel on her tummy. I felt a little odd getting an ultra sound – granted, I always correlated the procedure with seeing something in the tummy – but that something had always been another human life, not an alien!!! At any rate, there I was and she was moving something around my belly taking pictures of what was inside.
Soon afterwards I was told to get up and wait outside…A few minutes later they handed me a folder with the findings of the ultra sound inside. Kwang and I then headed back upstairs to wait again…About forty-five minutes later I was called back inside to see the doctor. This time it was a different man, but he was just as kind and willing to talk to me even though I was a female – a little different than at Apollo…He said that the ultra sound was normal, and since I could not give a stool sample today I was to bring it back tomorrow so they could check that…But he felt that, given my symptoms, the examination from the other doctor, and that I was from America – apparently they correlate this with the fact that bacteria and what not are foreign to American bodies??? – It seemed apparent to him that I had an infection (which I then learned meant I had a parasite inside of me!! Gross)…He prescribed me Ofloxactin tablets to take twice daily for five days, and also Secnil Forte to take twice today…He explained that if he needed to change my medication, after getting the results of my stool sample, he would do so at that time!! This antibiotic is, as Cara says, something that fights on all fronts… 4 ½ hours and 598 rupees later – I was outta Vikram hospital…
Consultation with doctor – 100 rupees
Ultra Sound – 350 rupees
Stool sample container – 50 rupees
Medications – 98 rupees
Removal of alien(s) – priceless!!!
2 Responses to ““Alien vs. Mula Bandha””
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July 15th, 2006 at 5:33 am
Oh Krista – I hope that this alien takes off soon… that can leave you so tired… take care!
July 18th, 2006 at 3:27 pm
Did the aliens say ..” We come in peace”… om shanti shanti shanti.. You are in my thoughts!